So I quit the team sport. Who would've guessed, right?
I just re-read my last blog post before coming on here, because something happened today that triggered me to write.
So I haven't been looking after myself at all.
I've been living with this 'fuck that' attitude and I literally switch off my real feelings and just eat and do what I want.
I thought I'd start this post with another failure because why not?
I'm always trying to write my true thoughts on here and I sometimes find it useful to read back on how I've been doing.
(Self-counselling?)
Anyway, this evening I decided to attempt to exercise for the first time in a very very long time.
And...well fuck, my ears started ringing, lights flashed over my eyes, and I felt like I was going to faint or be sick.
I instantly needed to sit down and stop.
I'm honestly not sure whether it's because I have reached a point where I'm so fat, so ridiculously huge, that I can't even get 10 minutes into exercising before passing out...?
- Side note to make myself feel better : I did donate blood yesterday and this could be a side effect because this has literally never happened to me before.
But then again, I'm probably just a fat mess and really, who am I kidding.
From a size 12 to a size 16 in a few months.
I have no one to blame but myself.
FAT. PIECE. OF. SHIT.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.
Anyway, I'll be here.
Still sitting.
Still eating.
Still not changing.
-.-
Full Fat Fil
